The Numbers Tell It All…

118
Years since four hurricanes hit one state in a season, until now

16
Millions of meals relief workers have doled out in Florida

5.6
Millions of people Frances left without electricity in Florida

1,700+
Deaths in U.S. and elsewhere from 2004 Atlantic hurricanes and tropical storms

$12.2
Billions requested by President Bush in federal relief funds

63
Days left in hurricane season

I feel like the storms that have hit Florida recently one after another is sort of like life. Sometimes we have a relatively quiet season and then BAM! you get one storm and just when you think its safe, another one comes. How have you been preparing? I guess for me I just say “that is the way it goes” period. It is what it is. This is life. You can’t predict you just have to prepare and plan and God will show up. Right now Floridians are anxious yet again about Jeanne. She is one fickle lady. Does that also reflect real life? Maybe. Jeanne did a dance in the ocean and now heading our way.

Oh well, like I said the way it goes.

I feel like confessing out loud. Ok not out loud in public. Nothing serious. Nothing major. Just the things that have been bouncing around in my head and showcasing the reality of the nut job that I think I am.

First, I didn’t make it to the Dalai Lama speech in my school Saturday. Why? I had a bible study the night before, people left late and I was tired in the morning. Simple. It was a free ticket so I don’t fee so bad.

Second, I’ve been praying for God to open the doors for us to either find a place where we can plant a church or find a church that would be willing to have us start an English service so we can do church the way we believe it should be, could be done. Well, a big wig (the Presbyter of our AG section) has offered to let us start an English service in his church and do our community thang (we believe in holistic missional church), now that we have this being offered on a plate to us we are analyzing it to death. Is the location right? Is the size and layout good? Is this GOD’S WILL for US? LOL. In my heart, I feel we should go for it. My pentecostal roots tell me pray about it for at least four months and start in January if I feel PEACE about it. My emerging thelogy tells me what is there to pray about silly?!!! You feel the call to pastor with your husband, you now have the place to “begin in” and you have your denominational backing…duh! Is there anyone else out there that analyzes things to death. I feel excited and scared at the same time. My husband and I share how we will never feel “ready” to say “ok, we are pastor material now”. When push comes to shove, we just want people who don’t know the Lord or people who just have had their faith shattered by broken dreams to realize that hope springs eternal and that we can truly make a difference to a “few” people. We have come to terms with the fact that we have something to say and we don’t have to say it with our Sunday best on and that church with all its politics and hurts still is the only institution in the world that God meant to have the biggest impact on individual lives.

Starting from scatch is so well…hard. LOL. Who will do worship? Me?! My husband will play the drums and Children’s ministry?. I am grateful for Brian McClaren’s suggestion that I read a book about church administrivia so that I don’t drown on the details of running a church. I am excited, really excited but I also will be a bivocational minister…and wow, I guess I am afraid of how tired I will be with family, school, pastoring, etc. Then of course, I feel God speaking into me to take it down a notch and not sweat all this stuff now.

Decisions, decisions. I have to decide if we will do this adventure, I have do decide on my disseratation topic, I have to decide how I will continue to do my job (as a fundraiser for a social service agency). Right now, I am in the airport on my way to Jacksonville for Planet Philanthropy. I love to learn and especially when I feel it will help me do what I do better.

Anyway, there is never a dull moment for me. But good news…my younger son with special needs had his annual neurosurgery check up on Monday and the cat scan showed that in his brain everything is still the same. Didn’t get better BUT didn’t get worse. I am thankful that it wasn’t another operation (would have been #28). Also I got the letter about being deposed for his lawsuit case in NYC…October 18. Looking forward for that to end.

Our lives are so complicated. Some things starting, some things beginning, somethings being again renewed and restored. Growth. Challenging but necessary for forward progress in everything.

I continue to travel on the road sometimes I don’t choose the one less travelled (cause I got a comfort thing) but always more questions and more growth. That is a good thing no?

My sister-in-law hooked me up with this info as I have not been watching TV as of late…check out her email to me…

Hmmmm….
The Lord has a way of revealing those of us who really know Him, and that don’t. Think about it!
Kerry gave a big speech last week about how his faith is so “important” to him. In this attempt to convince the American people that we should consider him for President, he announced that his favorite Bible verse is John 16:3.

Of course the speech writer meant John 3:16, but nobody in the the Kerry camp was familiar enough with Scripture to catch the error. And do you know what John 16:3 says? “They will do such things because they have not known the Father or me.”The Spirit works in strange ways.

I am going to see the Dalai Lama at my school on Saturday. Let’s see what this nobel prize winner has to say.

While Ivan has spared South Florida, our pastor spoke today about the hurricanes of life that don’t spare you. The hurricane of divorce, affairs, betrayals, sickness…you get the picture. And while fear is a normal feeling we get as humans sustained fear is an alarm to check ourselves and who we trust in. It was a good and simple message. A reminder that hurricanes hit individuals everywhere no matter where they live!

My husband woke up this morning and reminded me of that day. That horrible day I hope we will never forget. The day was 9/11. I lost a friend that day. Wendy Rosario. I was almost there that day too, in Tower 1 to get Krispy Kreme donuts for the staff. I didn’t get to go. I am alive today because of that split second decision. I remember it like yesterday and till this day I can’t see the twin towers footage without crying and my heart thumpin. Rudy wants to see footage as he notes in his blog. I don’t want to see anything. The video plays in my mind alot. Sometimes I have to take Tylenol PM to block them out. I understand his reasoning…we can’t get too comfortable. Anyway, to Wendy and all those who lost their lives on that day–we remember.

Right now, just a few minutes ago, I paused. I paused to think about all the people in my life–the good, the bad, and the ugly ones that are part of my historical journey. Of course, the ones that stick out the most are those that caused pain, those that made me cry myself to sleep and drink my tears but like the saying goes “no pain, no gain.” I believe it is true that the deeper changes in our lives often involve some suffering. I am reminded of Joseph, he was such a dreamer as a teenager and when he shared his dreams to his brothers they bugged out and got jealous and threw him into a deep cistern. In sharing my dreams I felt many times thrown away into one of those. But as we are reminded by Joseph “Don’t be afraid…You intended to harm me, BUT GOD intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” Isn’t it amazing how through pain we emerge sure bruised, still carrying scars but eventually (if we let God do his work) so hungry to ’save’ lives by pointing them to Jesus and not religion. I feel melancholy today. I feel the emotional see saw women go through when their hormones are out of wack. LOL. I just am so thankful that I still love God. That I still cry about the awesome gratefulness I feel that he still loves ME. That even with the pain I have experienced I am not afraid of people–that I feel more open to people now POST PAIN than before all the drama occured in my life. But that is God for you–never doing what you expect him to do but always revealing something that is pretty cool. I like me today. Thank you God.

I just left this lil slogan on Jen Lemen’s blog as she returned from NYC after her 7th wedding anniversary. I figured I’d elaborate a little more about it. My husband and I love South Florida. Having been life long New Yorkers, we find it to be a hassle free place. Sure they don’t have all the services that state or city taxes afford citizens but then we don’t have state or city taxes! The weather is great most of the time and that is especially important for my younger son DJ who was sick most of the time in NYC due to the weather. His doc had said “go to a warm climate” and we said “say what!?” We were gone in a matter of months. In Florida, you can renew your license and tags over the internet and have the new ones in your mailbox in less than a week. In Florida, the toll booth clerks and government workers are courteous! In Florida, the supermarkets are an experience. HOWEVER, while there are no hassles there are hurricanes. We are preparing for hurricane #3 IVAN who may potentially hit somewhere in Florida. I just had a few friends move down from NYC no more than a month ago, I feel bad for them. But as I usually say to those in NY who tell me they don’t have to deal with these threats…this is the price of paradise. I am wondering how long the price will just be hurricanes though. With all these hurricanes the insurance industry is threating to walk out of FL (just like after andrew devastated Miami area). I don’t think the gov’t will let them but even after allowing them to change policy deductibles and even after creating their own home insurance company, how much more can the government do? Without home insurance, many will try to sell their home and leave the state. I would hate to move again. Aye, dilemnas. One day at a time.