I got a call today. "Mrs. Rios?", "Yes" I said.

"It’s X from blah blah law firm. We need you to come back to NY to be deposed again." Hyperventilation begins to occur. My hands start to shake. My heart sinks. "Again", I said. "I was there for two days in October". "Sorry Ma’am, so when can you come back." And so the conversation went.

Have you ever been deposed in a lawsuit?  It is defined as:

a.  a pretrial interrogation of a witness; usually done in a lawyer’s office

b. An oral statement made before an officer authorized by law to administer oaths. Such statements are often taken to examine potential witnesses, to obtain discovery, or to be used later in trial.

c. The pre-trial testimony of a witness given out of court with no judge present. The witness is placed under oath to tell the truth and lawyers for each party may ask questions.

d. The testimony of a witness, under oath or affirmation, taken outside of court in which lawyers ask oral questions of the witness. The testimony is usually reduced to writing and duly authenticated and is intended to be used in a trial of a civil action or a criminal prosecution.

Just so you know, in all these definitions, they forget to mention how terrible they make you feel. How they are trying to dig up dirt on you so that you look like you are lying and only want to sue to get rich or something. I am so dreading going back to look at this lawyer’s face (opposing counsel). Pray you never have to go thru one of these. Pray for those that do…it is a very humiliating experience.

There is always someone with a story to tell. Here is one I wanted to share.

Chris Timmins

It was one of those picture perfect sunny San Diego days, Memorial Day weekend, 1978. The decision Chris made on that day was a bad one.

She and her husband were packing to move to Oregon. She was leaving behind the teaching job she had loved for six years. They had family in Oregon and thought that living in a smaller town with relatives close by would be better for the family life they wanted. That was the “plan of action”.

Having sold the house, Chris was tired of packing and decided to go to the beach and have one last spin around Fiesta Island, one last ride in her treasured “beamer” car in the bright San Diego sunshine. As she finished her last ride she was headed home. She became dizzy (the cause would never be known for sure) and in the attempt to pull over must have lost consciousness. She crashed into a cement abutment. No one else was in the car, and no one else was hurt. It was before the seatbelt law, no air bags. . That was to be her last day of being able to walk around in the sunlight but certainly was not the last day of courageous movement for this woman.

It is not the events of our lives; it is our response to the events that determine what happens to us and who we become. Here was Chris, vibrant, beautiful, 29 years old, and paralyzed from the neck down. She would wake up in a hospital with no memory of what had happened after that moment of dizziness. Before the accident she had been a passionate and involved teacher. She had great family and friendship support. After the accident, her family wanted her to move to be with them but she elected to stay here in San Diego, the place she so loved and the life she had built.

There were more challenges and losses than physical ones. The marriage struggled for four years and then broke apart. The dream of children, the entire reason for the move, was over.

The first fight was to get her job back. The school district felt she would be too vulnerable to illness and would die. She refuted that reason, fought hard, and finally got her job back. She had loved being a teacher before the accident and now, with 31 years in the system, she still loves to teach.

When you are a quadriplegic you can’t dress yourself, turn in bed, or do all the things able-bodied people take for granted.

This was a whole new life for such an independent woman.

There was a medical maze regarding disability that made even the simplest questions difficult and mysterious. How do you qualify for the help you must have to live? Chris is one of these people that makes things work. She researched, dictated letters, and talked to all who would listen. She networked. In order to move through the world, she requires a full-time attendant, a canine companion and a $100,000 van. It takes almost five months to adapt a van that can be controlled perfectly by head movements, keypads, and commands. (Because of Medi-Cal rules, a person on disability can never save more than $2,000 or they will lose all needed medical benefits.) It was never possible to plan for the day the van would give out.

Isn’t that is all that should happen to one person in a lifetime? In 1990 another tough challenge came her way—breast cancer. As she fought everything else, she took on this challenge and is now a survivor of 13 years. She helped raised $6000 to help others in the Avon walk for the cure.

Chris is a woman of courage, a woman who doesn’t quit, a woman who knows you can make a difference in the world. She can no longer leave footprints in the sand. But she has left imprints on the hearts and minds of all whom she has taught and touched with her courage and optimism.

She now faces a huge challenge. The van that has allowed her freedom is dying. We need to raise $100,000 for the new van.

We, healthy and active women want to get her the van, and The Athena Foundation has pledged $40,000 for matching funds to make this happen. This Foundation runs with only the accounting and office supply costs necessary to a charitable foundation so that every dollar donated goes to help others. We also want the law changed so that others can have freedom of movement. When we are successful, we will get statewide publicity. If you read this story and are moved, send a dollar, five, ten, whatever you can afford and are moved to do. We are not paralyzed; we can make movements that make a difference. We need to use the mobility and gifts that we have on behalf of others. We need numbers so Sacramento might just listen to a positive cause.

Thanks for joining us in this project. Tell your friends and join our “make it happen” village.

All checks to Athena Foundation (a private 501c3 foundation), Tax ID # 33-6211470:

Athena Foundation
5411 Bahia Lane
La Jolla, CA 92037

PS. Let them know you heard about Chris from Femail Creations. I’d like to report back to the Femail Creations community so you can see just how strong you really are!

Founders: Donna Brooks MD; Barbara Levy MD; Catherine Conheim LCSW

America is no longer a Christian nation (not that it ever was one). Rapid changes are creating monumental cultural shifts. Past ways of doing ministry are no longer effective in addressing people’s needs.

Buddhism and Hinduism are two of the fastest growing religions in the United States with the number of adherents increasing by 200% from 1990 to 2000. The number of Christians increased only 5% during the same decade. Those who don’t consider themselves religious in any way grew by an astounding 110%.   (From the book Entrepreneurial Faith: Launching Bold Initiatives to Expand God’s Kingdom. This is true just check out what I found out about my area so far. 

Households in ZIP Code Hollywood, FL likely to have "No Faith Involvement"33025

36%    U.S. 35%

Love the moment. Flowers grow out of dark moments. Therefore, each moment is vital. It affects the whole. Life is a succession of such moments and to live each, is to succeed. – Corita Kent

Another left-over from my sister-in-law’s visit is her copy of Rev. Magazine. The editor, Paul Allen, wrote as he ends his Rev. to Rev. column, "God’s using our lives, not just our words, to touch the hearts of others. As you move forward in 2005, don’t live life alone."  That touched me. Sometimes when I think about my life, I say to myself "Gee, God…I’ve had too many valleys too count and I am tired." But in reading his column, I am reminded that it has been how I have dealt with my valley’s that has impacted the people around me.

I remember at one of our women’s conferences in NY, a woman gave me a card where she had written that because of how I handled my tragedy with my 2nd son (who at that time was having one of his 27 operations), she knew that the strength God had given me, He could give to her and it made her able to face her life…because as she says, "the God you serve is the same God I do and if he can do it for you He can do it for me too!"

Sometimes, we don’t care or even think about how our life speaks to others. We get consumed with our problems and just want "out". But you know what they say about hindsight…as I review the chapters of what so far sums up my life, I have to say that while I wish some things would not have happened, I am still standing. And that is what counts. I have a pair of mini boxing gloves by my computer that my sister-in-law (Pastor Enid) gave me at our commissioning service. She reminded us that in this boxing ring, we will have battles but we will always be the winners. Now, of course, sometimes our definition of winning has to be re-adjusted. Still standing blow after blow, is my definition. If I can survive what I have, I KNOW that I KNOW that I KNOW I can survive anything. The future may still hold some pain for me but with God, I will survive. And in that, my life speaks.

My sister-in-law has a way of just always doing something that leaves me speechless…in a good way. Today, she left with her husband back to freezing NY but gave us a thank you card. I told her "you don’t have to do that" but she did. When I open it, its a $300 Lowe’s card so we can get a lawn mower (so we can get rid of our lawn guy and save money monthly). I was floored. I feel like this is her house just as much as it is ours. She brought the bed in our guest room (she’s here often), she brought the tv in our bedroom, two patio chairs for the pool area, and now our lawn mower. When (not if) I get our lawsuit, I want to be just as giving as they are. They have helped her sister out too many times and well I just think even though I really don’t want her to feel she needs to do this, that it is so moving. I cried. Bottomline, I told my husband (her brother), she got class man. God bless her and Pastor Marc (her husband), they’ve been good to us.

It was good to talk to Pastor Marc about the things we are dreaming about as well. You know, church stuff, future home stuff, etc. etc. We’ve been through a lot of stuff together and they have known me since I was a 11 years old. It’s interesting how God connected our families together. We’ve survived the good, the bad and the ugly and maybe one day our lives and ministries will merge again in a different way.

And if by chance, you guys are reading this, know I love you a-l-o-t and I appreciate your good wishes and thoughtful gestures on our behalf.

The Lord has made the miracle happen. I got the grant writer consultant job with Trinity Church/Peacemakers Family Services Center. They are doing great work down here in N. Miami. It reminds me of when I started working for LPAC in its infancy. I hope to contribute to their growth while this lasts. If you know of anyone on a national level who wants to partner with a holistic faith-based program to make something happen in Miami, let me know. But I thank the Lord for making this connection happen!

Considered by some as the Blog Father, Hugh Hewitt has a new book out on this wonderful time consuming great connector thang we call blogging…it’s called BLOG: Understanding the Information Reformation That’s Changing the World.

Mark D. Roberts shares his blogging pastors list here. 

Thanks Rudy for this great hook up, His Rules, a new book for singles.